Our Stories - Anderson Cares

Jesse (11 yrs)

“1 in 88 is the number of children in the United States that have been identified as having an autism spectrum disorder. For our family, the statistic was actually 2 in 5.” This is how James and Jesse’s father explains the nature of his family, having two autistic sons. “Both James, 20, and Jesse, 11, were diagnosed with autism when they were each 3 years old. My wife was the one who detected something was wrong.”

“During James’s early years he was very destructive and angry. He would literally rip things apart in our home. Eventually, he began stimming a great deal, and by 7 or 8 years old we decided something needed to happen. There was no way that we were making things better for him. We looked at quite a number of schools, some as far as Oneonta and Albany. But with Anderson Center for Autism, we knew he would be close by and we would be able to see him on a regular basis.”

“Now, as a resident at Anderson Center for Autism, James has really developed. He has the right amount of medication to help him control his anger. Before that, he needed constant care and supervision. We would have to dictate to him what he needed to do at all times. James is now able to do a lot on his own. He can get his own food from the fridge, or at least figure out a way of letting you know that he is hungry — without getting into trouble! This is particularly huge for him, considering that both he and Jesse are non-verbal.”

“James is also a part of Anderson Center for Autism’s Special Olympics team. Every Wednesday he looks forward to going to practice, and I think it has helped him out in a unique and important way — it gives him something to do, something to work toward,” shares their father. Sibling, Alexis adds, “I believe all children with autism need structure and opportunities to engage in things that bring happiness and satisfaction. Without it, they are going to feel even more lost.”

His father explains that, “Jesse, also a resident student at Anderson Center for Autism, was never aggressive or angry like James. He was always the hyper one. He ran around for hours and hours, getting into everything possible. Alexis describes, “the thing with Jesse was that he would never hug you — or even touch you, for that matter. With Anderson Center for Autism, he has calmed down. He is finally at a point where he can begin learning, whereas before, we had to chase him around just to get him to sit down in front of us. To my amazement and delight, Jesse now also holds my hand, gives me hugs and smiles at me.”

“The biggest struggle for me is the fact that I have not just one but two children with autism,” says James and Jesse’s father. “I can look at them and see that they are feeling or thinking something, but they have no way of telling me what it is. I can just see it in their faces. At times, I feel helpless and demoralized.” Alexis reveals, “with Jesse, it is not as disheartening yet because he is still very much young, carefree and happy. James, on the other hand is older and maturing into a young man, and I can see his frustration in trying to communicate the things going on inside of him.”

“I still remember how my mother felt after Jesse was born. I distinctly remember her telling me how terrible she felt that her second son was autistic. After seeing what James went through, she said she couldn’t imagine Jesse going through all the same things too. It hurt her deeply — she was sad almost all the time. It took a very long time for my mother to finally feel OK again. I never forgot that.”

“I had a very different experience from most children, growing up with two autistic siblings. Much of it was difficult and emotional. During a family vacation in Florida, two young girls made fun of the way James was eating. He wasn’t disturbing anyone, but they still felt a need to laugh at him from across the way. The worst part was that James began realizing he was being taunted, and he felt out of place. He started nervously walking up and down the restaurant, stimming the whole way. I basically broke down. It just wasn’t right. My faith in humanity was shaken at that moment. It is one thing for outsiders to not understand, or even be curious or concerned, but it is quite another to take that lack of understanding and use it as ridicule,” Alexis tell us.

“Without Anderson Center for Autism, who knows what our life would be like. It would have been almost impossible to live. I think it gave us all a life again without completely taking James and Jesse away. It would have been so sad if the boys never got the chance to receive the one-on-one learning they so desperately needed. With them, it was kind of like a big funnel. Before Anderson Center for Autism, they were at the mouth of the funnel and all over the place. Now they’ve come down and been channeled into who they are today. This was all Anderson Center for Autism’s doing — a place where the people care about the boys we love. It is just a really good feeling,” shares their father.

Matthew (13 yrs)

Matthew became a part of Anderson at six years old. With a need for residential care, sending him to Anderson was the single hardest decision his mother ever made. In her heart, she knew that she could never teach Matthew the things that he needed to know to make him a successful and happy individual. This was the smartest decision she could make for Matthew; no matter how it hurt her.

Looking back, his mother remembers how terribly he dealt with transition, whether it was from room to room, or in public settings. But with the help of Anderson, he is out and about constantly – and he enjoys it! For the first time, she is optimistic about her son’s future, knowing that there is still much else that he can achieve.

Kayla (18 yrs)

It all started when Kayla’s parents began noticing how difficult it was to handle her. She grew bored and didn’t have nearly enough activities to keep her occupied. After awhile the school board told Kayla’s parents that she would need to be put in a special school, and that it just wasn’t working out where she was.

Because of this, they’ve expressed how lucky they are to have Anderson. In just a few short weeks they saw a tremendous amount of improvement in their daughter. They even helped her physically. She started with Anderson weighing close to 250 lbs. Since then she’s lost a healthy amount of weight. She’s so active now that her family has a hard time keeping up!

Michael R. (18 yrs)

Michael was diagnosed with severe autism when he was two-and-a-half years old. Worst of all, he was very destructive and would even inflict harm on himself. His family searched high and low for a program to address his needs, and a doctor that could follow whatever progress he was making at that time. But all Michael’s parents discovered were a lot of doors shut in their faces.

When they first discovered Anderson, they recognized the immediate warmth and welcoming. His mother knew right at that moment that this was the place for her son. Since then, it has been one achievement after another. He’s excelled in all of his academics. He’s in science and social studies classes; something his mother had never once imagined for him. Beyond academics, Michael has also flourished in life skills like laundry, cleaning and cooking simple meals.

Mike A. (18 yrs)

Mike’s mother expressed that placing your child in a residential program away from home is probably one of the scariest things that you could do. But she had to. A traditional school was just not right for Mike. He was not your average child and he was not leading your average life. Once school began calling home two and three times a week for his mother to pick him up, it was clear that something needed to change. But Mike was a twin, and it was disheartening knowing that his brother was not ready to let go.

Here at Anderson, Mike is an individual. He’s gained confidence through specifically tailored programs such as the fishing club, bowling, the Special Olympics and especially art. His passion for art gives him a purpose and calms him down. He is proud of his finished product – and this is an amazing feat. He’s very happy. Mike’s mother knows that this was the very best life should could make for her son.

James (20 yrs)

John (23 yrs)

“When John was a small child, he was incredibly aggressive. He began to constantly flap his hands around and it worried me immensely. I thought that perhaps this behavior was due to undiagnosed attention deficit disorder, like his sister had. When he was three-and-a-half years old, I took him to a neurologist and he was immediately diagnosed with pervasive developmental disorder not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS) — one of five disorders on the autism spectrum.

By the time John was of kindergarten age, he was placed in a class in the local public school. The first year he was there, he did fine. But about halfway through his second year, we noticed he was getting more and more behind. He couldn’t sit still and we needed to look for something else. The hardest thing for us was trying to find programs in the Poughkeepsie area, where we live. We finally found a program all the way down in Yorktown Heights and enrolled John. He stayed there for a while, on and off, but had a lot of problems, medication issues and was even hospitalized a few times. As time went on, John became too old for the program, and we were back at square one, looking for something close to home. Daily life was very difficult until we found Anderson Center for Autism. It had gotten to the point where we couldn’t watch him around the clock. My husband was forced to work three jobs, and I couldn’t keep a job because I was continually leaving work to pick him up from school whenever there was a problem. When we got to Anderson Center for Autism, I was finally able to go back to work. Finding them was really like a godsend for us. It was the best thing that could have happened. We had an immense amount of guidance. They basically held our hand through each and every step we needed to take as parents. And the workshops were so helpful — I even used the information in my current job, working with autistic children.

By the time John became a part of Anderson Center for Autism, he had regressed so much. In earlier years, he had much better verbal skills and was, overall, higher functioning. He even used to do things like ride a bicycle. But now, we knew he needed to be placed in a residential program as soon as possible. He wouldn’t sleep at night, and we got to the point where we felt we just couldn’t do it right anymore. He began as a day student, but within six months, Anderson Center for Autism found him placement in a resident home. It was then that John started to regain some abilities, especially when it came to socialization and most definitely his behavior. The results were like night and day. That is why I appreciate the existence of the LifeLong Learning Program that Anderson Center for Autism offers. The transition was seamless and John’s education and stability continued to progress — it was such a unique and pleasing experience.

If the New York State legislation requiring health insurers to cover autism services had been put in place when John was younger, I sincerely believe he would not have regressed nearly as much as he did, as we would have been able to find helpful programs much sooner. Very early on, I was told John would never need to be part of a residential program because of how high functioning he was. That is one of my only regrets for him.

John has steadily become more involved with others, and it certainly shows every time he comes home. The other night John actually took his bowl to the sink and rinsed it out, which is something we never saw him do before. He now knows how to do things like this because of skills Anderson has taught him through the Day Habilitation Program. This program affords him opportunities to hold a job and learn the skills we were just not able to teach him at home. John is an adult now and I think it is great to see him out and about doing something like this. Anderson constantly asks John and us what his interests are to keep him involved and occupied. He is now part of the adult art program and absolutely loves it.

Everyone at Anderson Center for Autism has always listened to us and we love that. We like being involved in the process of making decisions and having our feedback acknowledged, because as parents, we know our child best. The staff regularly calls and notifies us of John’s progress, and recently let us know there was an opening in a higher-functioning residence that they would like to move him to. I really feel like they are on board for everything.

When my daughter was getting married, John had a hard time understanding exactly what was going on. The folks at Anderson Center for Autism practiced with him all the social skills he would need for the wedding. It made such a difference. Whether it was the wedding or a trip we were taking, they would inform him ahead of time and role-play so that he would know what to expect when the time arrived.

The employees and staff are very well trained and have a great deal of education behind them. These are all things that we are concerned about as parents because we’re basically turning our child over to someone else and saying, “Here he is.” But I never had any doubt they’d do a great job. The students are taken care of like their own. I sometimes almost forget what it was like before Anderson Center for Autism.

Not only is John doing well, but he is also constantly improving. They have a really good understanding of him. That’s John, and this is who he is! He’s happy. That is the biggest thing for me — that he is happy. What Anderson has done with John is incredible. They’ve managed to achieve progress that we were not able to do on our own. For this, we are eternally grateful. I hope that they continue with their learning model — it is absolutely one-of-a-kind.” — John and Jane March

Michael B. (41 yrs)

“My son, Michael, was diagnosed with autism 38 years ago when he was three years old. I knew something was wrong. I brought him to many different hospitals for answers. He wasn’t responding to any sort of stimulus and the immediate conclusion was that he was deaf. Finally, Presbyterian Hospital said, “No, there’s something else going on here.” I was told that Michael was autistic. In the ‘70s, very few people were aware of this disorder. The doctor actually had to explain to me what autism was. I later took Michael to a speech pathologist, who had written various books about autism, for some sort of help. It was at this point that she told me Michael’s condition was my fault — that as his mother, I hadn’t given him enough love. Infuriated and completely heartbroken, I never returned.

From that point on, things were very difficult. Michael did things that most kids didn’t do — that most people would not do. He made very little eye contact. I could hold him, but not for long. Developmentally, it was clear he was behind. He began walking at the same time that he learned to crawl, and it took an extremely long time for him to become toilet trained. Finally, when Michael was five years old, the stress had become so overwhelming that his father left. At that point, I knew that I had to be the exception for Michael’s sake. I had to remain strong if I was going to raise him by myself.

When Michael was seven-and-a-half years old he became a student at Anderson Center for Autism. At that point, the program consisted of only five other children. Now, 34 years later, Michael is part of the Adult Services program and receives a great deal of attention and patience. This population can be difficult because people living with autism have so many ups and downs. Michael is no different. He has some good weeks and bad weeks. Right now, Anderson Center for Autism is more than I could have imagined when I enrolled Michael. In fact, no one could have ever anticipated how far the school would come. Executive Director Neil Pollack has been doing wonderful things with the kids and with the program. It has really expanded quite a bit. He’s one of the best in the field. I am confident and comforted knowing Michael is taken care of here.

My only wish is that the New York State legislation requiring health insurers to cover autism services had come around earlier. No one should have to go through what I went through. From diagnosis to parental support, these are things that should always be provided for going forward. Children should be able to function to the best of their ability. My dream for Michael was for him to live independently. I don’t know if that will happen. But I see improvements in him all the time.

Anderson Center for Autism is currently helping Michael put sentences together, and he is doing very well. He used to say one word at a time or echo whatever I said. Now I say, “I love you, Michael,” and he replies, “I love you, Mommy.” He’s also become very affectionate. He gives me kisses all the time — in fact, he wants to kiss everyone! He’s become involved with others in ways I would have never thought possible. He’s part of the adult art program, as well as the Day Habilitation Program. This provides Michael with opportunities to volunteer with an animal shelter, a pizzeria and other local businesses. He has such a knack for cooking — especially when he gets to eat the goods!

At the end of the day, Michael’s happiness is my priority. If he is happy, I am happy. And at Anderson Center for Autism, he is very happy. When he comes over to my house, it is not home for him. Anderson Center for Autism is home. And that is a testimonial all its own.” — Joan Blutreich

Anderson Cares – 1 in 88